There is a rustling in the leaves of our lives – a whisper on the winds of our souls letting us know that a change is coming. After 21 years together, my wife and I have learned to recognize when the Good Lord in his wisdom is preparing our hearts for something new…and someplace new. It’s like our bones are scattered and rattling with uncertainty but hopeful expectancy at the mere idea of something…?
There are several circumstances that point toward change: our youngest will be graduating from High School in a few months and then off to college so we will be empty-nesters in a house far too big for the two of us to ruminate in. My wife will be finishing Nursing school at about the same time so will be looking for a new job. At my job, I have had 5 different supervisors in 3 years and we learned last week that the entire upper management of the college is being ‘restructured’ – and those kinds of changes always trickle down. We have been living where we are now for six and a half years, by far the longest we have lived anywhere. Our current house was a move of convenience, centrally located between job opportunities, but not where either of us really wanted to be. Now, with my education complete and my wife’s nearly done, and our children’s lives taking them on their own journey, and several other smaller circumstances, we find ourselves unbound, unsure, wary, and wondering what is next. There are too many options and not enough filters to help us see the right way for us.
The one thing we both believe is we only have one more move left in us. We have packed up 9 times in the 21 years we’ve been married. Flipped 2 of those houses and now living in a third we’ve brought out of the 1970s. I do not want to renovate another house just for someone else to enjoy. We are tired of moving, want to settle somewhere, and finally have a home rather than just a house to live in. So, what do you do when the way forward is not clear and questions abound? You wait, watch, and listen. As Robert Benson says in, Between the Dreaming and the Coming True:
“I am convinced that the voice that whispered us into being still whispers within us and all creation. I am dead certain of it sometimes, terrified of it at other times…longing for it at all times.”
God is far from ever silent about anything. The very rocks are crying out if we will take the time to listen. Sometimes he shouts out “Yes! Go Now!” and other times it is a simple “No..”. Often, we hear “Not yet…I’m still putting the pieces together.” It is always one of those three…there is no maybe with God. He does not need to think it over or weigh the consequences. Yes, No, Not Yet…those are his answers to all our questions. My wife and I find ourselves hearing the Not Yet – so we will wait for his timing, watch as he moves, and listen for the Go Now. We have also learned through our years together that when he does say Go Now he does indeed mean Go…NOW! And when the changes begin, you can almost hear the pieces clicking as they fall into place one after the other. I love that sound…